new year.

Hello. It's been a while since I wrote an intially humorous later transcendental blog post for all my severals of admiring fans. Like approaching 7 months of a while. Half a year ago I got my first real job. A half year before that I started earning as steady an income as a paper route will earn you. I started out January 1st with $20 in my wallet & 83ยข in my savings with a busted checking two days later, owing $500 I got scammed out of taking a pseudo-job off of Craigslist, which would take me many months to pay off after receiving a generous credit from my mother. 2015, I started off having finally semi-squandered a trust fund. 2015 also concluded with me having a healthy modicum of a disposable income afforded me by finally being fully-employed, as well as a $10,000 check from the estate of Marvin Bates, my father's father. It was a year of change.

And 2016 is an odd one as I feel myself walking around in a dead man's shoes, so to speak. Without getting into anti-materialism & Alan Watts speeches about living life as if you had the means to achieve your desires regardless of monthly income, it is still an anxious itch with which I see a large pile of cash. Money = freedom. I could move to New Zealand & become a pilot Jesse Pinkman-style if the pile is large enough. I've got enough rope to build bridges until I make an empire or enough rope to hang myself. It's horrifyingly freeing like going to college the first time, like are you going to go out with your friends drinking all night using your parents' credit card & making out, or are you going to study hard and delay gratification? Anyway I'm buying a $1,800 computer, clutching to the hope that it's of the latter camp & not a big, fat self-indulgence surely evoking the righteous indignation of a cheap demigod. And my teeth are chattering & my fingernails keep getting shorter as I make budget plans & look at for taxes & buy Taco Bell everyday, fearful of going down down down & into the red. After my first-real-job employer laid me off after feeling I was growingly "despondent" and that I had what he thought was the financial freedom to pursue dreams & not dead-end jobs, I'm still not sure if he did me a favor or not. Still I still swing from emotion pole to emotion pole & deal with bouts of insomnia and oversleeping.

But it hasn't been all bad. This year also marks my first paid gigs as an audio engineer, a half-year of dating my girlfriend, moving out of my parents' house, terminating therapy after more than a year of self-work, my emotional color palette being less blacks & reds, more blues & pinks, as well as exercising near-daily, eating better for my IBS and having the means to pursue comedy more than ever before in my life. I have a good job opportunity locally as well as many in Portland if I ever get my foot in the door. I'm doing alright for a college dropout with emotions. This laptop I'm currently typing on has already proven itself a worthy ally in making two programmed songs, as well as a photo studio & a video editing chapel. Let's see what the future holds. #2016

Post-Script: Check back with my site in a couple weeks' time; I should have compiled every joke I've ever written into a single bloggolicious delight.

Adam Papes