i want it all.

I want to be everything, all of the time.

I want to be an actor, on stage in the theater, on the grainy television screen, the oversized silver screen.
I want to be an author, crying and boozing to write and wrought painful joyful stories.
I want to be a musician, a drifter, a traveler, a vagabond, shamelessly shout-singing into microphones in smokey bars for half-dozens of people.
I want to be an athlete, making headlines.
I want to be a journalist, making headlines.
I want to be a comedian on and off stage.
I want to be a dancer, a sexual being, losing my inhibitions, throwing caution and breakaway pants to the wind.
I want to be a poet, honest and true.
I want to be a salesman, turning people's minds with sleight of hand, like a magician.
I want to be a pastor, rapt and wrapped in God's arms, communing with my fellow man, dispensing wisdom and giving guidance in a cruel animal world.
I want to be a philosopher, thinking endlessly, chewing hard truths, dictating them in academies across our nation.
I want to be an engineer, not only thinking but manufacturing, putting ideas to paper and paper to reality.
I want to be a biologist, studying life itself.
I want to be a farmer, sowing and reaping my just fruits.
I want to be a doctor, a healer, a medicine man, aiding humanity, to consider their needs before my own.
I want to be a cartoonist, delighting children and parents alike with doodles from my singular mind.
I want to be a filmmaker, illustrating stories with sound and color, providing commentary through brilliance of writing, acting and directing.
I want to be an editor; I want to disappear into the background, invisible, but all important.
I want to be a model, a sex symbol, conventionally attractive, symmetrical.
I want to be a fashion designer on the cutting edge of beauty through clothing.
I want to be a hero instead of the villain I feel like.

I want to be a son, full of life.
I want to be a husband, full of love.
I want to be a father, full of God.