dungeons & dragons: episode 3.

When we last saw our heroes, they were entering the mayor's home, a tall-roofed log-cabin with a leather armchair facing a massive glass pane. The adventurers waited around a little while; eventually the mayor set foot in the room, pacing. He soon stopped moving and started searching the faces of the adventurers, saying "The city I pay taxes to burned to the ground last night. My scout reports seeing three unfamiliar figures sleeping north of the place." He rebegan pacing, continuing, "This is level with other dire news: my settlement has been raided continually by goblins for a month's time. Worse yet, there have been spottings of a dragon among them. I am willing to forgive whatever you did to the city I love if you save my land from this great threat." He stopped pacing feverishly and sighed. "Simon, I hate to wrap you into this given your history, but please lead this ragtag group. Please."

Accepting the stately mayor's quest, Simon lead the party east into the woods. They found and followed tracks that quickly went cold, disappearing into a lake. The clever green shorties didn't outwit our champions long; they regained their trail finding footprints near the mouth of a river. The prints lead them to a crumbling fortress covered in moss with a huge wooden door, guarded by a goblin patrol. Attempting to surround their first victim, as the goblin walked from the door, Juicy positioned himself between the two before Lizette stumbled loudly. With the goblin alerted, the party quickly set out to stop the fleeing foe, climaxing in Archie falling asleep and Juicy taking the fatal shot, the patrol slumping over dead with the doorknob in its hands! Creeping the door open ever so slightly, our heroes saw a loud card game in action between green warriors. Flanking sexily, the party began barraging the unsuspecting foes, sending one to goblin Heaven before it knew what hit it. The fight got dangerous, the foes throwing curses and javelins and the party slinging spells, arrows and swords. With our heroes quickly showing themselves victorious, the goblins fled, only the shaman managing to escape retribution.

Charging after the sole survivor, they found him smiling in a stone chamber, two pillars holding up the broken ceiling. Smelling something fishy, Tim the holy man, using his badass sense of hearing, overheard a sneaky creature in hiding muffle a few coughs. Calling the shaman on his clever trap, the goblin ran behind a pillar. Simon insisted on the evil medicine man's demise and charged at him with his sword; the goblin wrestling with the door turned around to see an Eladrin warlord, frightened but suddenly smiling as a hulking bugbear erupted from its hiding place to place its rope around Simon's neck! Struggling for air, Timmy healed Simon as he swung his sword wildly, the whole group blasting his cruel assailant! Juicy with particular grace managed to snipe the cowardly trickster and the hairy brute, clobbering the former, but the latter kept fighting away. Having broken free and broken the ropes of his captor, Simon issued a battle cry and slashed the gargantuan beast mightily. Dealing deadly blows back, the bugbear whipped out a large mace and began bashing Simon and his helpful ally Tim. Both on their last ropes, so to speak, Lizette solved the bugbear problem with an arrow to its skull.

The tired party, breathing their first sigh of relief, wondered what trials lie ahead of them in this decrepit dungeon.

Adam Papes