a blatant request for gifts and an endorsement of greed.

Christmas happens every year. It's only fair that I'm given things in remembrance of the Savior's birth, so unless you hate me and Baby Jesus, here's a list of demands:

 

1. An iPod Touch. My iPhone costs $80 per month for 1 bar on an extended network. Save me!

2. New kicks. Preferably pumped-up.

3. DVDs of the shows I love: Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, Reno 911!, The State, Michael & Michael Have Issues, Key & Peele, Bob's Burgers, Arrested Development and the Sarah Silverman Programme. Any or all.

4. Old Modest Mouse, Muse and Bright Eyes albums. I need more music to calm down the voices in my head.

5.  A typewriter. If I'm ever going to starve trying to be a writer, I'm going to need a typewriter and a solid cardboard box.

6. A video camera and video software. If I'm ever going to starve trying to be a filmmaker, I'm going to need a video camera, software and a few homeless writers.

7. Books of comedians. Those guys are surprisingly funny.

8. This is the End, The World's End and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World on DVD. Despite similar titles, these are three different movies.

9. Hot cocoa and someone to watch Rick & Morty with.

 

So these are my desires laid bare, though don't be afraid to surprise me with something I might and probably hate.  Have a politically correct holiday, ya'll!

Your Friend or Blood,
~Adam "Da Bomb" Bates